DWTS: Part Two, Louis, Louis

Like most people who watch Dancing with the Stars, I don't know a lot about the dances being performed, and I probably couldn't tell one from another, other than having a guess if one were a latin or a ballroom dance (and there, you're helped by the music and outfits).

However, having grown up in a small town in mid-Missouri, I do know what a two-step looks like, while snowboarder Louis Vito and his partner Chelsie Hightower clearly don't. Now, I can understand if someone didn't have the bad luck of growing up near rednecks; however, if you know the dance is coming up, and you know you have to choreograph and then perform the damn thing, why not at least google it?!!

I know Louis didn't look good in last night's performance, but I really am putting the blame of this one on Chelsie. She's supposed to be the pro dancer, she's supposed to be the one who knows the dance, she's supposed to figure out how to make her partner look as good as possible. Instead, Chelsie put together a performance that seemed to say, "Nether of us know what to do, so why don't you just walk me around like a show pony, and I'll do flip tricks and stuff and smile and we'll see how that turns out."

Complicating things for Louis is the fact that Michael Irvin has a much larger built-in fan base among the show's demographic going into the competition. On that note, many members of the key demographic (being female and 30s, 40s or older... namely, the opposite of me), not only don't recognize the former Olympian, they barely acknowledge his sport as a sport.

So, I think this is it for Louis, but there is a bright side. Now, he can go back to his real job and start training for the Olympics, which he should have been doing all along instead of learning how to DANCE!!

Seriously, man, what were thinking here? The show lasts potentially until December, the Olympics are in February, did you really expect to turn around, qualify for the US team, and be ready for the largest stage in your sport in three months?! Shaun White's the best snowboarder in the world, and he didn't even compete in skateboarding this year to prepare for Vancouver.

Assuming you do lose tonight Louis, consider it a blessing. If, however, you don't get eliminated, you might consider just backing out. The competition just to qualify for the US freestyle snowboard team is stiff, and clearly, at the moment, your head's not in the right game.